Overcoming Pain

Moving away from my mother, didn't necessarily change things.

I'm making this a three part series. Part one, will discuss the hardships, pain and abuse that I endured. Part two will be about how that affected me, what I went on to do, and how I started looking for help. Part three will discuss what and who helped me. The choices that I made, and how I found myself.

I think this is important to share. If I can help one person see, that there is hope, perhaps I can make a change. It's a small ripple, in a sea of problems. 

If you are feeling suicidal or in need of someone to talk to, please call 

1-800-273-8255, The national suicide prevention hotline. It's nothing to be ashamed of, they're there to help. 

I had a friend, who was suicidal. 

I ended up calling the police station near them, and that friend was able to get help. They live a healthy and happy life today.

*Names are changed for privacy

I wasn't very far away from her, but once I moved, she only ever visited once. 

I was living in a nice one bedroom with my boyfriend at the time. 

He was a year younger than me, so still in school. 

The lease was in my name, I was working full time to pay for food and rent, it was really hard. 

He worked part time, and contributed a little. 

I also got a cat!

But I cut off contact with a lot of friends.

Looking back now, I realize it was because of my depression.

I would just look at their names on my phone, and want to message them so badly. 

But I felt exhausted at the idea of communication with anyone else. 

I just focused on work, and keeping the place clean.

After almost a year of being together, one day during an argument, he grabbed me by the throat. 

I should have left, and I almost did. 

But he apologized, and like so many other women, I believed it. 

After talking with him about it, I found out that he was schizophrenic and wasn't on meds, because he hadn't told anyone. It was really strange, basically being in a relationship with two people. 

The nice personality, was Daniel, the mean one was Jason.

When Jason came out, he would flex his fingers and stretch out, Jason looked like he was test driving a new car. 

Daniel told me that most of the time, he would keep Jason in a box. The box was small, and there where spikes, or pins everywhere. So that Jason couldn't move at all. 

When Jason took over, he would put Daniel in the box. The box terrified him, because he couldn't get out unless Jason wanted him to. 

I should have told someone, but I didn't. He was actually an actor, so I knew that he would just deny it.

We had decided to move a few cities away,

After he had proposed to me.

However, a week before our move date, he cheated on me. 

It wasn't even subtle because he decided to shove it in my face. 

With a phone call from the woman herself.

I was pretty devistated, but at the same time, I wasn't going to get another chance to move away from the small town.

I had already quit my job, and everything was packed.  When he got back, we broke up, but I decided to still move with him.

The move, was absolutely awful, I should have expected that!

Once we got to the house, it all started..

He was yelling and tossing my boxes off of the truck. If I weren't so determined to live in the city, I would have just gone back home.

He had a friend who found us the place, it was a tiny 700 sq ft basement suit, shared between us and Bob.

It only had two bedrooms, he let me have one because I had so much stuff.

It was a hard month, the city was so big!!

I had just moved out of a town, were you could walk everywhere! 

All of the sudden, I had to take trains, busses, and transfer busses..

I was living with my ex fiance, and it really wasn't good for me. We were on and off, I was naive and believed that we could fix things.

It was a hard transition, and I was doing it alone. Bob had a job set up for Daniel, as soon as we moved in. So the plan to go job hunting together, went out the window.

I must have handed out hundreds of resumes, and answered endless Craigslist job offers. 

After a month of looking, every damn day, I finally got one call back. 

It was for a maid service, I went to the interview, and was hired that week. 

But things at the house, weren't good.

Daniels dad was trying to hook him up with other women. 

Tensions were high, and tempers were elevated. 

I was hurt and feeling betrayed.

I just couldn't understand how someone could be engaged, and get over the other person so fast. 

Our fights were starting to get physical, and I knew I needed out.

I was backhanded and slammed around a lot. 

I had seen it too many times, happening to my mother. I had always told myself that I would never follow that same path!

Well, after a really bad fight, that resulted in the police making him sleep at his dad's for the night, and my phone being smashed.. I came out to a co-worker about it. 

Amazingly, she was so supportive, and she was actually moving at the end of the month!

She put in a good word with her landlords, and I ended up moving in when she left!

I did the big move, while Daniel was at work. I never said bye, and I've never regretted that. I cut off all contact, even though it was hard. At first, I would stalk his Facebook. But I reminded myself of all the bad, it was enough to make me forget him and move on. 

During this time, was when Barry passed away. He was the only good male role model, that I ever had. 

He was my best friend, but it took him dying, for me to realize that he was basically a father as well. 

He taught me a lot of stuff, but the hardest lesson, was accepting death. 

I never went to his funeral, because his family lives far, and we had no contact with them.

I think not saying bye was the toughest part.

After that, I decided that I wanted to be in a relationship again. 

But I never went out, so I never met anyone. 

I decided to try an online dating site. Yea, that was... Interesting. 

But I met my spouse there.

We talked for a year, online, without meeting. 

It wasn't even dirty stuff, we would send paragraphs to each other. Just talking about our daily lives, and our likes/dislikes. My mom had always talked about how unsafe social media and the internet is. 

Which is true, but it shouldn't mean that you avoid it. You just have to be aware and cautious! 

Well.. Because of that, I cancelled plans to meet Jesse, 3 times. Finally I met with him and it was amazing. We talked all day, and truly connected. 

Around this time, I quit the maid job. I was doing great at it, but I had injured my knee.

After a few weeks of healing, I actually had people interested in me cleaning for them. So I worked a job for a family member, and then a friend.. Just from word of mouth, I ended up gaining 10 clients. Which was pulling in over $1000 a month. It wasn't great, but it was enough. 

I enjoyed being self employed!

I ended up having to move, my landlords brother needed a place to  stay. Jesse helped me with the whole thing. He even bought me a temporary storage locker as a birthday gift!

Because of the short notice, I had to rent out just a single bedroom in a house. 

It was awful, I'm pretty sure now, that it was illegal. 

The landlord and her family lived upstairs, downstairs was myself, and at least 5 other guys. 

It was absolutely filthy, so much so that I refused to use the kitchen. I made myself noodle cups and ate junk food in my bedroom. 

My cat, her litter box and scratching post, took up most of the space. 

After a month in there, Jesse let me move in with him. 

 Shortly after that, I realized that I needed help. 

The wounds of my past we're catching up to me, and it wasn't pretty. We argued a lot, just arguing though, nothing more. 

A lot of it stemmed from my depression and anxiety.

It had been years since I wanted help, but last time, my mother told me to just deal with it. This time, I didn't have to answer to anyone. I could get any kind of help I need. 

Jesse was supportive during the entire ordeal.

I knew that pills were a last resort for me. I'm aware that chemicals can mess up your brain, and you need to balance it out sometimes, with medication. But I knew that I have things that can be worked through, by confronting them. 

I had no idea where to start. 

Social worker, therapist, psychiatrist?? 

Plus there are ones that specialize in certain areas..

I found a hospice, they offered free grief counselling. I tried it, and stuck with it until my counsellor retired. We were able to work through a lot of things.

I finally had the knowledge I needed, to help accept Barry's passing. 

But I knew that wasn't the end, just the start. I looked into help for my depression, and decided to see a psychiatrist. 

That experience was awful.

The visits were only 15 mins, and he was almost always 30-40 minutes behind. He didn't seem to listen to me, and just wanted me on medication. I forget the name, but I would have to take them for the rest of my life, and constantly up the dosage. 

After four visits, I stopped seeing him.

Jesse's mom told me about how acupuncture had helped her a lot. Physically and emotionally.

But I hate needles, so I kept declining to go with her. 

Finally she bought me a session, and I tried it out! The woman was actually able to do laser acupuncture, so no needles! 

She just emitted a positive And peaceful energy. She was respectful, funny, and she listened. I walked in skeptical, and walked out amazed. After that, I decided to go once a month. 

I still needed to work on my depression though, and heal from my past.

It took several consultations from several therapists, before I found the right one. 

We connected, but better yet, she was trained to help people work through things. She was a social worker, one of the people my mother taught me to avoid.

Sometimes you can find help in the strangest places. .

Another huge help was my clients. I made friends with each of them. Sometimes we would just sit, have tea, and chat. I met some amazing friends, during my cleaning. 

All of these things just came together! It didn't happen fast, and it took a lot of willpower. Also patience on Jesse's end.. Being open though, and talking about my past, really helped me have closure! There isn't really a certain path to take, it's what works for you.

Self improvement, is an ongoing struggle. Life is always going to throw you curve balls, you just take one step at a time. Finding help isn't easy. It took me over a year, I almost gave up, so many times. But if you want something enough, you'll work towards it. 

On my next post I'll talk about life now. How my mother is doing, finding my passion and finding myself!

I'm in no means perfect, I still have hard days. Life isn't easy, I think we all agree. 

But I made it.

I looked at my past and said, this isn't okay. I didn't let myself be a victim for the rest of my life. Anyone can do the same, you're stronger than you think.

~ Katie ~

Hardships: A Survivors Story

When I came home from school, I felt it in the pit of my stomach. Something was wrong, this person shouldn't be here.

 HUGE TRIGGER WARNING! 

Something that I haven't told many people, is that I'm a victim of childhood abuse. For many years of my life, it shaped me into who I was. Everyday, went on for eons. I didn't know what to do, how to fix things, and I thought that everything was my fault. I feel like my childhood was taken away from me. 

I'm one of the lucky ones to have made it out, with minimal scars. 

I'm making this a three part series. Part one, will discuss the hardships, pain and abuse that I endured. Part two will be about how that affected me, what I went on to do, and how I started looking for help. Part three will discuss what and who helped me. The choices that I made, and how I found myself.

I think this is important to share. If I can help one person see, that there is hope, perhaps I can make a change. It's a small ripple, in a sea of problems. 

If you are feeling suicidal or in need of someone to talk to, please call 

1-800-273-8255, The national suicide prevention hotline. It's nothing to be ashamed of, they're there to help. 

I had a friend, who was suicidal. 

I ended up calling the police station near them, and that friend was able to get help. They live a healthy and happy life today.

*Names are changed for privacy

Part 1: The hardships.

When I was a toddler, my father left. 

The short story is that he started doing heavy drugs. My mom ran away from him, and moved to the Okanagan a few years later. He followed her and stalked us out..

At this point, I actually have three scattered memories of my dad. 

1: Him teaching me the alphabet, but I got it wrong and he was furious. He picked me up, threw me on the bed, and locked me in my room until mom came home.

2: I woke up to mom and dad fighting. Walked in to see him throw an apple at her. Afraid that I would be in trouble, I ran back to bed.

3: After Mom thought that dad had finally left town, he stalked us. I was at a reading group with my grandmother. Dad was standing in an aisle, with a mirror, watching us. He wasn't even hiding, I remember seeing him standing across the room, at the end of the shelf.

My mom ended up calling police on him, and he was deported. 

She's Canadian, he's American.

Aside from a few scattered letters here and there when I was in elementary school, I've never heard from him, and you can't find him on any social media.

My mother was actually amazing for a few years after that! She was actively involved in my school, she used to draw me cartoons everyday for my lunch box! Those years, were absolutely incredible. In first grade, When I came home from school, I felt it in the pit of my stomach. Something was wrong, but I couldn't place it. My mom lead me to the deck, and introduced me to her friend.

We will call him Dean, and he was her friend from school. I pulled her aside, and told her that I had a bad feeling about him.

She reassured me that he was fine, he ended up staying with us for a while. 

A while, turned into, on and off for the next 9 years or so. 

They were in a relationship for many years.

Within the same town, we moved at least 7 times in those years. 

My mother started drinking, and smoking shortly after Dean moved in. 
At one point, she stopped brushing my teeth, she never enforced it and never explained why it was important. She bought junk food and pop whenever she got groceries, She also stopped coming home a lot. 

It started to become really bad, around 4th grade. 

A lot of the time spent away, she was actually working. But she would go days without coming home and eventually, weeks.

Mom also became aggressive, and she would have wild mood swings. Her boyfriend was the same way. He never hit me, I just got yelled at a lot, and called names. My least favorite, was when randomly I would catch him staring at me. When I tried yelling at him about it he would laugh at me. I tried telling my mom about it and calling him out, he would deny it and she took his side. To this day, if someone is staring at me, my initial reaction is anxiety. 

Most of the time they would be fighting each other. It was bad on both ends, I've seen my mom with a bloody nose, and bruises, more times than I can count. But I could say the same for any man who ended up with her. My mom was verbally, and physically abusive with me as well.

I spent a lot of time with my back against my bedroom door, trying to keep my mom out. She's punched and kicked holes in many doors just so she could spit on me, hit me and throw me around.

I never once reported it though. A few times, a neighbor had called CPS on us. My mother found out, and she started manipulating me. She sat me down and told me that I was her only reason for living. Without me around, she would walk into the mountains and kill herself. She then told me that the neighbor called CPS. That social services would take me away, and I would never see her again. She started making them out to be villains, and she trained me on what to say. Every time one came to the door, I would answer it. Mom would hide behind the wall, and watch. It was always, "Mom is in the shower, everything's fine here, I'm totally happy! Yes I'm eating enough. Sorry to waste your time, have a good one!" After they left, mom would be pretty nice to me.

CPS was called at least 5 times though, so I don't understand how they didn't see anything wrong. My grades were mostly in the C's, I wore sweaters in the summer to hide bruises, I just slipped though the cracks.

When she was home, Dean, herself and their friends would all smoke inside. Usually the windows were shut. I remember one time, when I finally got the guts to say something. I asked my mom if she could, "Please open a window, because my eyes are watering and I feel like I can't breathe". The entire condo was thick and hazy with the plumes of smoke. She flipped out at me. "It's my life! I'll do what I damn well want, and you're just going to have to deal with it!!" I realized that my opinion didn't matter, and I should just keep quiet.

This would be a common occurrence in my life. I was always a quiet person, until I got to know someone. Then I was a typical, hyper, joyful child. With my mom, I learned that there are certain things I can't say.

More than once, I walked in on her and Dean having sex in the living room. They really never did try to hide that.
During a weekend where mom and Dean we're broken up, she took me to a beach party. She hooked up with a guy and made us all share the same tent. After 5 minutes of me pretending I was asleep, they had sex right beside me.
Meanwhile, she would constantly call me a slut, because I had a middle school boyfriend. Aoo we ever did was kiss and hold hands, but being called a slut everyday, really took it's toll on me.

One time, she was gone for almost a week. When she got home, I told her that we really need groceries when she gets a chance. I had been living off of potatoes, pancake mix, beans and eggs. I don't remember what she said, but it probably involved calling me a greedy selfish b****.

There was always a lot of guilt placed on me.

I started getting abscesses, I remember at least four horrible ones when I was younger. I wanted to bash my own head in from the pain, I would compare it to labour pains. Being through both experiences, equally terrible..

I tried to run away..

Dean and Mom were fighting again, I just couldn't take it. So I bolted out the door. My mom chased me with an absolutely crazy look in her eyes. I don't think I've ever been more terrified then I was at that time. She slipped on the dirt road, and I was able to get away. I was scared though and didn't want to go far. I hid in a ditch for half an hour, and then made my way to my friends place. When I got there, I was so distraught. Her mom sat me down and listened to me for a while. My mom knocked on the door, pretty soon after I arrived. She started screaming at my friend's mother. Calling her all sorts of things, and demanding that I come home. I went with her, it wasn't fair for my friend and her mom to be involved in that mess. 

As soon as I got in the car, I was surrounded by three adults. My mom, Dean, Tom and Sarah. (My mom's friends)

Immediately, everyone was shouting at me. My mother was shoving her bloody knee in my face, and telling me to "look at what I did". Dean was yelling about how poorly I treat my mom. Tom was screaming, something, I honestly forget. Sarah wasn't yelling, but she was guilt tripping me. I think that was a huge moment, where I just shut down.

I didn't want anyone involved, because it was all so messy and stressful. I didn't want to place that burden on anyone. 

I felt like I was trapped, and could never get away. 

I was angry too though, this group of adults, hadn't thought about why I might have run away. 

It was all about, how I hurt my mom's feelings.

But no one seemed to wonder, what might have made me run in the first place. 

I didn't want to live anymore.

One day, on a day where mom was calm, I told her that I was depressed and I wanted help. My aunt had offered to pay for art therapy. Mom snapped and said "I can't believe she's snooping in our lives! No doctor is going to get into your head!! I'm depressed too, deal with it."

Deal with it. 

I did deal with it, just not in a healthy way. I started cutting my thighs, lower legs, the sides of my wrists, the inside of my hands. I didn't want to die, I was too scared for that. I just wanted someone to come up to me, and save me. 

I skipped a lot of school in grade 9, I was too depressed to get out of bed. 

For grade 10, I wanted a new start. I decided to really focus on school! 

Well, my mom had a habit of not paying rent for months at a time. He work is seasonal, She didn't have enough money for rent, groceries or school stuff. But there was always beer in the fridge, she always had smokes too. 

Priorities.. Right?

After three months of no rent, we had to move somewhere else in town.

During the second semester, Swine flu was all over the news. My mom refused to let me go to school. She wouldn't call the school to tell them why I wasn't there though. 

She wrote a note, I gave it to the principal when I was able to return. I explained why I had missed school. She told me that they looked at my records, and knew that I missed a lot of school in grade 9. Because my mom wouldn't call or come in, the principal thought that I was skipping. I was given Saturday school, so that I could catch up. But I had two teachers, flat out refuse to give me my missed work.

So, for two Saturdays, I sat in that library, and stared holes into the wall. 

When the third Saturday came, I stopped going. Not only to Saturday school, but regular school as well. 

For the next two years, I lived in a haze of depression, I had given up on life. 

My mom was with a new guy, Greg, and he was good at first.. 

We moved in with him, I got the entire basement to myself. But when he got drunk, he was just as bad as Dean. Maybe worse, because he was manipulative and sexist. Everyone saw him as a really great guy, we were the only ones to see the real him. 

Now, throughout my life, I had one good male role model in my life. Barry, he was my guardian angel. My mom would abuse him too, but he always stuck around. I don't know if it was for me, or mom. Maybe both of us, he really was an amazing person. 

He passed away in 2014 from lung cancer.

His voice went high pitched from the procedures, and he had to tolerate my mom making fun of him. 

When things got really bad, he would drive me to my grandmother's, and I would stay with her. Sometimes for days, sometimes weeks. She has been a constant savior in my life.

One particularly bad night, Greg and Mom were wasted, and fighting again. I went upstairs, broke then apart, and told Mom to sleep downstairs, and Greg to just go back to bed. It worked for 5 minutes. Until mom heard Greg move upstairs, and she ran up there to start stuff again. When I went back upstairs to break up the fight, I just couldn't find a way to do it. Something came over me, and I let out a long scream. Twenty minutes later, the police showed up. 

They took both adults away in cuffs.

An officer gave me a ride to grandmother's, and I stayed with her for over a month.

I heard absolutely nothing from my mother for those weeks. 

I found out down the line, that she was out of holding, the very next day. 

I started working full-time at Tim Hortons, I wanted to have money so I could move!

After a few months, I became a night time team leader. I ran the night team with 2 others and we would close the store 5 days a week.

After moving a few more times, and my mom getting her two front teeth knocked out by Greg, I finally was able to move into a place with my boyfriend at the time. 

Though my abuse from mother, was put at arm's length, I had no idea that my hardships weren't over yet. I didn't know how hard it would be, to heal from those years.
Or how costly, I would end up having more abcesses than I can even remember. 

Part 2 will be coming out next Saturday evening. I'll go into the consequences I faced from the years of abuse and my quest to find the right kind of help.

Saying all of this, my mom is also a survivor of abuse. The way she acted and the actions she took, were the result of that abuse, and her not seeking treatment. As horrible as she made my childhood, she really couldn't help it. I've forgiven her a long time ago. I'm still a little upset of course, but she's still stuck in that rut. I'll never hate her, I just wish that she loved herself enough to get out of it.
We don't talk anymore though.

~Katie~

Inducing Labor At Home, Facts & Fiction

When I was pregnant, I found that there is a lot of old and inaccurate information going around. I've done the research and chatted with a medical professional about when and how, you may safely attempt home induction.

Before getting into this article, I want to do a bit of a disclaimer here. 

I'm not a medical professional, I in no way condone inducing labor at home any sooner than 40 weeks into pregnancy. Based on new research, full term is 40 weeks. Early full term begins at 37 weeks and doctors won't let you go past 42 weeks. As the placenta begins to stop functioning after 42 weeks. I only recommend it to avoid medical induction. However these methods aren't 100% either. 

Babies tend to come whenever they're ready. 

Except in  some cases, where they need  to be helped along by your doctors.

Every pregnancy is different, your doctor will know what is best for you.

When I was pregnant, I would frequent the Ovia app. Everyday in the chat, someone would ask about home induction methods. 

It is a very popular topic, but a lot of the advice being passed around, just isn't true.

Here are a few of the most popular true, and false ways to kick start your labor.

Castor Oil

One of the most recommended ways to induce is with Castor Oil.

It has worked in some cases..

 However, I do not recommend it, as the side effects are miserable. Some studies have found it to also be possibly dangerous to your baby.

What is Castor Oil? 

Simply put, it's a very strong laxative.

Trust me, I know what it's like to want the baby out. My girl stayed in for 41 weeks and 2 days, I had to be medically induced. I tried everything except Castor Oil. 

I found a fantastic site with heaps of information about it. 

Please educate yourself about the risks associated with it.

Link

Sex or Masturbation

This is actually what my doctor recommended for me.

I've heard of it working for a lot of different women.

 But at 40+ weeks, for myself, sex was the last thing on my mind. 

If you can manage it, bravo for you. 

Here's a site on some easier positions while pregnant. ;) 

Link

How does sex help you go into labor? Having sex releases the chemical oxytocin, which can help bring on contractions.

Semen, because of it's prostaglandins, can help to soften your cervix. Which may make your labor easier.

So, go get it! That is, if you have the energy. 

Walking

Walking everyday is important for several reasons. The first being that you should stay active to prepare for labor. You can't run a marathon, unless you're prepared. It's similar for labor, having that extra stamina will help you out. Walking releases Oxytocin and can also help to bring your baby downwards, in an ideal position for delivery. 

It might not start labor, but it's still good for you and baby.

Nipple Stimulation

It's seems odd, but nipple stimulation can also help kick start your labor. 

It's another method of releasing oxytocin.

You can do it yourself, or have your partner help. Generally 15 minutes or more on each side is the ideal amount of stimulation.

 Some women will also pump, here are a few ways to save your colostrum. 

Link

Exercise Ball

This is actually a false fact, as it will not bring on labor. However, buying one will benefit you in many ways. 

Bouncing on an exercise ball may help to bring your baby down and in a correct position for delivery. 

I found my ball also to be my favorite chair while pregnant. 

It's also fantastic to help you with postpartum workouts. 

My favorite exercise ball

Spicy Foods

This is actually a myth, no studies have proven it to work. A few people claim it worked for them, it was however most likely a coincidence. 

But if you enjoy spicy food, go for it girl!

Pineapple

Again, a myth as no studies have linked it with starting labor. It might possibly soften your cervix, but that hasn't been proven to work. So enjoy your pineapple! Just don't over do it, as you'll give yourself a stomach ache.

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea

I've heard so much misinformation about this one. It will not cause labor, however it is beneficial to drink during pregnancy. You can start drinking it at the start of your second trimester, and continue drinking 1-3 cups a day for the rest of your pregnancy. It can help soften your cervix and may make your labor easier or shorter.

It doesn't taste like raspberries, it smells like licorice, tastes like black tea. Here's a site with more information.

Link

Evening Primrose Oil

This is yet another false fact, as it won't start your labor.

However, if you take 500 - 2,000 mg daily, after your 38th week, it may help to soften your cervix and shorten your labor. Some women take it orally in pill form. Others insert the gel capsules in their vaginas. If you choose to do that, wear a pad and do it before bed, or when you will be sitting for a while.

It's a very messy process.. Trust me.

                                                              Link for more information

It can be frustrating when baby gets too comfy and doesn't want to leave their warm, snug homes. 

But do your best to stay optimistic! 

You've come so far, there isn't very much further to go. 

Don't forget how amazing you are in this whole process.

You'll have your entire life with your baby, try to revel in this freedom while you still can. 

You already done great things, just imagine how much incredible stuff you'll do.

~Katie~

Bringing Your Baby On Transit

The first little while with a new baby is daunting in many ways. If you frequent transit typically, you might be having anxiety over bringing your baby on it.

I waited almost three months before bringing my girl on transit, I had something preventing myself from going. 

We are all guilty of it, try to not overthink the situation. Keep in mind that bus drivers are used to strollers and kids. 

A lot of people are friendly and helpful on transit when they see a parent.

Just breathe, it'll all be okay. 

Stroller: 

One of my biggest struggles was figuring out how to get my stroller on and off the bus. I have a huge Graco jogging stroller, tight spaces are difficult for me. 

The first time I got on a bus, the driver told me that I should have backed my stroller inside. Later that day, I did, and I was told that I should have gone in, stroller first. I learned that it's all just opinions. Try both ways, whatever is more comfortable for you, is the right way. If anyone says otherwise, shrug it off.

Where To Park It: 

Busses have designed spots for wheelchairs and strollers. Typically at the front of the bus. I ran into an odd issue one day. After getting on the bus, a man in a wheelchair got on, he asked me to move to the other side. Apperantly the side I was on, is specifically for wheelchairs. I had no idea, there was no sign, the driver hadn't said anything. Every bus is different, you might run into something like this. Take it all in stride, most people are understanding. You learn something new everyday after all. 

Timing is everything:

Typically I try to plan any appointments or outings, during the off hours. Around 9Am and coming home by 3Pm seems to be the least busy transit hours. 

If you're able to plan around those times, you won't find yourself struggling through a busy bus or train.

Also, the key to being on time is leaving earlier than you should. For instance, I have an appointment at 10Am. I know that it takes me an hour in a half to get there on transit. So I'll leave two hours in advance. If I'm early, I'll just grab a coffee nearby. Being on time with a baby is so hard! 

Prepare For Talking:

For some reason, when people see a parent, they want to chat. 

Generally I find it pleasant, I'm from a small town, so I'm used to that. Some days however, when you've gotten very little sleep, it can be annoying. Just recognize how you're feeling, realize it's not the strangers fault, and try to not bite anyone's head off.

Sympathy crying:

My baby girl was a sympathetic crier for the first few months. Your little one might be different, they may not even care at all. However, don't be surprised if another crying child sets off your own.

Distractions:

Transit can be hard enough, without your baby screaming as well. I completely switched my anti-pacifier views, after a few rough bus rides. 

Bringing a few favorite toys along can help to distract your little one. Mine loves her crinkly stuffy! Or you can always buy those toys that clip onto the stroller, so that your little one can't throw it over. One of my personal favorites is this .

It clips onto your carseat or stroller, and is a pretty fun activity center! It's not safe to use in your car, but it's absolutely fine in a stroller.

I'm sure there are a lot of other great products out there, but these things have worked best for myself. 

Better To Have and Not Need:

I'm guilty of over packing, always have been. But I find that quirk, very handy now! I bring two blankets with me, unless it's very hot outside, then it's just one. I bring extra milk, wipes and diapers. I also bring a small first aid kit with every essential in it, as well as Tylenol for babies flu, just in case.

That's all of my advice for you parents out there!

I can't promise that you won't be anxious. But at least least you'll know what to expect. I would love to hear your transit experiences in the comments.

~Katie~

We All Deserve Freedom.

Original Picture

It's the fourth of July, have you thought about freedom?

As a civilization we have come far, I don't doubt that. Everyday we keep fighting, to be accepted, to be openly free, to have a voice.

However, I don't feel like we have freedom, definitely not freedom of speech.

There are so many different types of people, persecuted everyday for just being themselves. It's not fair or right that these people should be attacked. No one should be attacked for who they love, who they are, skin color or beliefs.

I'm a firm believer in having discussions. If you disagree with someone, don't silence them, talk to them. You don't have to agree with what they say or think, but you will at least have made an attempt to understand why they think the way that they do. 

If you cannot listen to them, walk away. 

If you cannot look at them, look away. 

Conflict and anger usually lead to more conflict and anger.

The way I see it, we are all the same, treat others as you wish to be treated. 

Freedom of speech, freedom to belief, freedom to love and freedom to be yourself. 

Celebrate how far we've come, but know that we have a lot further to go.

~Katie~

Beat The Heat, With These Items..

Summer is here and in full force! How can you help keep your little one cool?

I've been trying different tricks, and products to find what works best for my daughter. Some of these products have been absolutely essential for us on hot days.

Here are my favourite products that I bought on Amazon.ca.

Umiwe Fan 

I bought this awesome little fan for $17.89. It is rechargeable via USB. So you can bring your favorite charge pack out with you for long days out. The fans battery lasts for two hours. It has several different speeds and clips onto many different places. I use it around the house from time to time. Being clumsy, I have dropped it twice on my laminate flooring, and the fan is good as new.

Umiwe Fan.

Pack It Cooler Bag

I bought this fantastic bag for $26.59.

It's actually made of several gel packs. It folds to the size of a purse wallet. Then you just stick it in your freezer. When you unfold it to the full size, it fits quite a lot! I put two bottles in there, with an ice pack, a bottle of water and a few teething rings. It also can be clipped onto your stroller! I'm a sucker for space savers! Not entirely sure how long it stays cool for. But I'll estimate 3-4 hours with ice packs inside. 

Pack It Folded.

Pack It Fullsize.

Bright Starts Chill Out Teether

I bought these for $3.99 as an add on item.

They are water filled, soft and squishy small rings for your little one to chew on. You stick them in the fridge, so that they are cool and soothing for a teething baby. The best part is that they are BPA free.

02COOL Misting Fan

I bought this for $7.99 as an add on item.

This little fan is handy for babies, yourself or anyone!  It's a handheld little fan, with foam blades. You fill it with water, then you are able to mist with it. This fan is small and clips onto several places. I usually have on my pants, the stroller or my diaper bag. I've used it quite a bit for these last two months, and haven't had to change the battery yet.

Those are my summer survival products.

I also have one favorite method that always keeps my little one cool. 

You freeze a water bottle, put it in a long sock, and will leave it in the stroller with your little one. 

I like to keep an eye on it though, to make sure that my girl doesn't get too chilly. Typically This one is saved for a very hot day. I store it in my cooler bag, until it's needed.

I hope some of these products will help you out! 

Comment to share some of your favorite tips or tricks to beat the heat!

~Katie~